The Joy of the machine

Although I am not typically a consumer (as we speak my boyfriend is in the process of begging, nay pleading with me to accompany him to the MALL!) I must confess to being overcome with joy by two of my latest purchases. The previously extolled Jack Lalanne juicer (I am wearing the results of a tomatoe that didn't want to go quietly into the night) and the Remington epilator! I have been limping along for the past decade or so on a mini-epilady that finally bit the dust. It wasn't very powerful and the cord always came loose during the operation and it always left a lot behind. But now .... duh duh duh! The Remington has left me quite hairless! And it doesn't hurt either! I stand all amazed and smooooooooth! In fact I am a bit sad. I really enjoy taking a hot fragrant bath, candles, glass of wine, opera music .... and then popping in some favorite video and finishing up the primping with a face mask, pedicure and e-p-i-l-a-t-i-o-n !!! Now I will have to wait over a week before I can use it again!

My New Happiness

I have a juicer. I have a Jack LaLanne Power Juicer. I can now make tasty nutritious juices from just about anything. Right now I am sipping on a juice made of cucumber, carrot, purple cabbage, lemon, parsley, celery and ginger. It is delicious and fresh tasting! I am trying to do a regime of juice for breakfast and lunch ... and a light sensible dinner. The first day I lost 5 pounds. The second day I had a steak dinner and gained back 2 pounds.... so no more red meat for a while. But for being on this plan for 3 days and (in spite of the steak dinner slide) having lost 6 pounds.... I am a happy girl. Plus it is fun to make up the juice "recipes" and shove the helpless vegetable victims down the chute to their doom!

Home Economics

One person .... living alone = BREAKFAST: 1 coffee cup, 1 plate, 1 fork LUNCH: 1 fork, 1 plate, 1 glass DINNER: 1 dinner plate, 1 salad plate, fork, knife, spoon, wine glass HOUSEKEEPING: 1 load of laundry per week, make the bed daily, straighten house daily

Two people.... living together = BREAKFAST: 3 coffee cups, 4 plates, 3 forks, 2 spoons LUNCH: 3 forks, 4 plates, 2 glasses, 1 coffee cup, 1 bowl, 1 pan DINNER: 4 dinner plates 3 salad plates, 4 forks, 3 spoons, 2 wine glasses, 1 water glass, 1 coffee cup HOUSEKEEPING: 4 loads of laundry (1 load being just towels), make bed daily ... and straighten comforter several times throughout, straighten house bi-hourly, pick up protein bar wrappers 2-3 times daily, locate keys minimum of twice daily, close cupboards that have been left open hourly....

Two people + one child...... DON'T EVEN WANT TO GO THERE!

Aruba, Jamaica.... ooooooh I wanna take ya....

I don't like the Beach Boys. But I have to say that I wanna take my sisters to Aruba!!! The temperature is HOT! So hot that it is almost heavy! And humid too! And the water is warm like bath water... and clear and blue! And I have seen thousands of fish while snorkeling.... trigger fish, parrot fish ( they are AMAZING!) angel fish, starfish, eels, etc. And Suzy it is so calm that you just float!!! You all need to come here! My favorite beach is Baby Beach! Maybe we can bring Nikki down and she can have Lucky in the ocean and he will come out swimming like a fish!

How intimate is too intimate?

There comes a point (usually a "woman's point") where you find yourself in a relationship where you are either seriously involved, living together or married. Often all three coincide... wink wink. All runs smooth until one day you run dead on into THE QUESTION: How intimate do you want to be with this person? Now I am not talking sex, children, sharing a tissue during the Afternoon Oxygen movie ... I am talking LAUNDRY! You are blythely sorting through the supposedly dirty clothes and happen upon a pair of HIS MAN PANTIES! Are they dirty? Are they clean? If we were to be honest.... in the case of OUR "suspect undies" we would perform a quick "sniff test".... but these are HIS PANTIES! How deeply do we want to be involved in our special person's reality? I stood and stared at the pair of black Calvin Kleins bunched in my hand.... paused... and then threw them into the DIRTY pile. I don't want that kind of intimacy.